


kurosaki

by BaskervilleLottie



Category: Bleach
Genre: Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex, Bad Parent Kurosaki Isshin, But Only by Technicality, Canon-Typical Violence, Female Kurosaki Ichigo, Gen, Male-Female Friendship, canon typicap themes, gratuitous character bashing of isshin kurosaki
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-12 10:53:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29508588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BaskervilleLottie/pseuds/BaskervilleLottie
Summary: The little girl known as Kurosaki Ichigo goes to sleep. She doesn't wake up for a month and a half (she's not the same when she does, but nothing really changes in the end).
Relationships: Kurosaki Ichigo & Kurosaki Karin & Kurosaki Yuzu
Kudos: 13





	kurosaki

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to another fic whwre I start with the exact same character premise because I'm p r o j e c t i n g. Featuring fem Ichigo who's only female by technicality, plus a little extra that isn't even plot relevant for a good while.
> 
> Heads up for a (probably?) graphic description of a character committing suicide. If you would like to skip that, it starts at "When she dies" and ends at the end of that paragraph.

_"You have to carry on like you will;_

_otherwise, you can't carry on at all."_

_\- Rainbow Rowell, Carry On_

* * *

Watching Ichi-nee hurry around the kitchen, her hair a mess, wearing only a tank top and her new male uniform pants _(she's late, they're all late)_ , the twins are silent. Ichigo has been taking care of them over the last few months, instead of Dad (who they haven't really seen), and she hasn't really had the time or energy to really figure some things out yet.

Like cooking.

A minute later there's a plate of scrambled eggs on the table to share between them, five pieces of toast (two seem fine, two are burnt but not terribly, and one looks _inedible_ \- it actually crumbles into blackened ash after a few seconds, right before their eyes), and two picture perfect glasses of milk. Ichi-nee looks scarily close to tears, staring at the fruits of her labours, and mutters a quiet _"sorry"_ when the twins only stare at the food and then her in silence. The ten-year old sighs, her breath shaky as she pushes her hair out of her face and begins to sag, looking so _defeated_ that the twins move in synchrony, clapping.

 _"Itadakimasu,"_ they chorus. Yuzu claims the least-burnt burnt piece of toast, while Karin grabs a burnt piece at random. They both scrape eggs onto the bread and take bites under Ichigo's startled amber gaze.

It's terrible. The eggs are sort of slimy and lukewarm, meaning they weren't entirely cooked when Ichigo'd taken them off the stove, but she'd seasoned them at least. They're also not gritty or rubbery like they'd been the last few times, so they're an improvement, mostly.

Karin wishes they hadn't run out of cereal, though.

"Thanks, Ichi-nee," Yuzu says quietly, offering Ichigo a small smile and placing her food down on her plate to reach for the milk.

"Yeah, thanks," Karin echoes after a second. Ichigo stares at them for a moment with unsettlingly shiny eyes before she firms up her expression and nods.

"Right. Okay. I'm gonna get dressed. Finish up and then do the same yeah? Then I'll walk you guys to school," Ichigo instructs, walking out of the kitchen without eating anything or waiting for a reply.

"This is terrible," Karin voices after Ichigo is out of ear shot, staring down at the remains of the food. Yuzu isn't sure if she actually means the food, but the six year old isn't sure the distinction really matters, either.

"Nee-chan's doing her best, and it's better than last time," she points out loyally, earning a reluctant nod of agreement from her twin before they both hop down, scraping their food into the trash and then placing their dishes in the sink.

* * *

 _The little girl known as Kurosaki Ichigo wakes up choking on a shriek, her head feeling like it's being split open with an axe, her heart_ _thundering in her chest, her body ill-fitting and unfamiliar._ She wakes up and she is both Ichigo and an unfamiliar woman. _She wakes up and falls out of bed, making her way out of her room and to her parents' room, her three year old legs unsteady, her face dripping snot and tears, flushed a red as vivid as blood as she struggles to breathe._

 _"It hurts. It hurts_ it hurts- _please please please- it hurts, I can't-" the little girl sobs wretchedly outside of her parents' room, unable to open the closed door, somehow unable to knock, but desperately wanting her Mom and Dad- wanting her Mom more than anything._

 _The door bursts open soon enough though, and she sways dizzily in place as gentle hands grip her biceps, breathing too shallowly to support her tiny lungs and vision blurry from tears and pain. Her ears are ringing, and she feels overloaded with mental and emotional stimulus she_ doesn't understand.

"Mom," _she choked, reaching out blindly as she hears her precious person ask whats wrong as though she's underwater. But she can't answer, and her fingers scrabble for something to hold onto, everything feeling fractured in her head. "Mom-_ Mom, please-!"

_Kurosaki Ichigo goes to sleep and doesn't wake up for a month and a half._

* * *

_When she dies, she's a broken and wretched thing, an over-used stress ball torn open at the seams, frothing at the mouth like a mad-dog and choking to death on her own leash as she soars through 75 stories of open air._

_She dies, and she's fine with that. Really, she is._

_When she wakes up, she's just as torn up but now she's not the only person who will die if she goes flying again, and she can't, anyway. Gravity doesn't work like that here in the mental scape, and she knows that because she's in the open air_ now _and going nowhere. A small consciousness is curled up in her "hands", writhing in agony from coming into contact with the periphery of her "at rest" emotions._

 _S_ _he feels bad for causing little Ichigo harm, but she's as calm as she's going to get, even though her "vision" is still that reddish teary haze it was before she died. As she tries to figure out what she's supposed to do, she carefully layers the idea of_ safety-warmth-it-will-be-okay _around the writhing mind, she hopes that it will help as she lets it drift away from her a little._

_Not too far, because who knows where Ichigo would vanish to, but far enough that they're no longer in danger of mixing accidentally._

_She has... Options_ _. There are things she can do._ Technically. _To make this situation "better"._

 _And as a vague_ something _twitches in Ichigo's soul (also hers by default, because they're the same person now), a memory strikes her and she knows what to do. Maybe._

**Author's Note:**

> This version has some on the fly edits that aren't in the ff.net version because editing on ff.net is a nightmare. Sorry for the short length- I thought about combing the first and second chapters together but I want to edit the second before "setting it in stone".


End file.
